


Garnet Reads The Fanfiction Stevonnie Wrote

by AzureAceStarburst7



Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Super, Dragon Ball Z, Dragonball Super, Dragonball Z, Steven Universe (Cartoon), THE ONE WITH SAIYANS
Genre: Fusion, Gen, MAGA, Make America Great Again, NSFW, Tw:bad words, WITHOUT MODS., donald trump - Freeform, get the hell out of here and play SSBB with the rest of the whores., tw:if you're young enough to need trigger warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 04:14:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8189449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzureAceStarburst7/pseuds/AzureAceStarburst7
Summary: End me.Warning: contains bad words. Seriously. If you're a kid (or worse, a neoliberal), get the hell out of here and either read some kid-friendly stuff I wrote or play SSBB. But install PM, the only thing that can make the garbage game playable.





	

"Garnet." Stevonnie said nervously to the Crystal Gem reading her laptop, cracks forming on the arguably-female being's visor. "I can exp-"

"The light-speed turbofuckery of my wormhole was so vigorous, he soon found his hairy nutshack joining his time bomb turboboner deep in my turd cannon, and for the ninth time that day, I wondered why I was wearing a Donald Trump MAGA hat and a Pepe shirt to a booty call." Garnet read flatly.

"Garnet, please-"

"By now, my violation station was weeping like a broken coffee maker. But not just any coffee maker, a shattered mess of glass, plastic and steel soaked in the crimson and ivory dual life essences of the cast of Jackass after another terrible yet strangely amusing episode, the kind that made you wonder if the morons giggling while putting horse masks on and trying to make wild animals mate with their heads or sit strapped down to a full porta-potty on twin bungee cords are living life better and fuller than you ever will." Garnet read flatly.

"Garnet, I only-"

Garnet's visor shattered. "There was Da Vinci Dickload seeping from his love lollipop and I was wetter than Angelina Merkel's bedsheets as she scrolled through online news stations normally labelled with her alt-right branding tool as a masturbatory aid every night, my turboner supreme standing proud and dancing in the air above my raised hips."

"NSFW stuff and controversial stuff always gets so much more popular than actually-good s-"

"He pulled out and launched a giant colon catastrophe on my chesticles just so he could lap the white and dark chocolate mix up like a hungry hungry hippo, only twice as fast and three times as bitey."

"We got mad, and-"

"Is that all you've got, I asked the fusion warrior above me. Gogeta said nothing, but the smirk I recognized from Vegeta said all that needed to be said. His barbed catlike nine-inch Saiyan donger tore into its final resting place like a boulder made of cum was right behind him, and in no time at all, an acockalypse of kidney stones lubed up by the tears of a man's soul made my rectum bleed, and I could feel the shitty love piss leaching from my cocoa channel and all over the blankets like an abstract metaphor for all of this miserable, meaningless existence. Praise be to Lord Kek, I yelled as I passed out and Gogeta went to go grab some snacks to eat while waiting for me to recover and begin round two."

"You weren't supposed to-"

The Crystal Gem took in a deep breath, and summoned her gauntlets. She punched the shocked mostly-a-human in the face hard enough to cave her skull in, turning the being into light.

Connie and Steven fell to the ground face-first with cartoonish exhalations of pain, unharmed, and Garnet reformed a new visor. "No fusion for a week." Garnet said, putting the laptop down and walking straight for the ocean. Perhaps the deepest depths of the ocean could make her feel clean again.


End file.
